I have been tweeting short 140 character Movie Reviews since I got on Twitter. I have alternated between taking great pride in boiling down a complex opinion about something to a short, but thoughtful tweet and feeling lamely self-important about it.
These reviews span the period from September 6, 2010 to today – March 13, 2012. There are 103 of them and they are all in chronological order (rather, the order in which I tweeted them). The Twitter API only returns back about 3200 Tweets – no idea why – so the ones before that are effectively lost for now. Also, I think I am still missing some that should be in that 3200, but that is because I had to sort through all 3200 tweets and isolate each review, so I suspect I deleted a bunch or missed them on accident.
And now, may I present to you… A Bunch Of Twitter Movie Reviews:
Inception – Brilliantly executed, plays with multiple conventions on many levels: Dreams, Genre, Film, Theme, yet is still accessible.
Cloudy w/ a Chance of Meatballs – completely unbelievable, it’s as if the laws of science meant nothing to the makers. The monkey was funny.
Scott Pilgrim vs The World – Kinetic, joyous, action packed, funny, colorful, and I am in love with Ramona Flowers now.
Man, Day of the Dead (remake) suuuuuuuuucked. So bad. Just really, really, really bad. Really.
The American – not for everybody by a long shot, but I really loved it. Almost no exposition, but totally gripping.
Resident Evil: Afterlife – what can I say, I love movies in which hot females battle zombies and other monsters.
The Town – solid character driven bank heist film. Who’d’ve thought Affleck would save his career by directing? Blake Lively can’t act.
Machete – genre film-geek nirvana, pure awesome, even in the second act when it almost stalls out and at the end when it all falls apart.
Alpha and Omega – really, really weird kids film. Basically The Sure Thing, but with wolves trying to get from Idaho to Canada.
Monsters – contrary to the name a very human little film that is flawlessly executed and has a clear vision of what it wants to say.
Let Me In – the director was a bit heavy-handed, but it’s a testament to the strength of the story that it was still pretty watchable.
Man, Punisher: War Zone is just really, really, really bad. I mean atrociously so.
The Social Network – very good, not perfect, but close. Smart and evocative, just suspicious of number of liberties taken with real events.
RED – Warren Ellis should sue for what they did to his original story, still, fun performances and I am in love with Mary Louise Parker.
Bram Stoker’s Dracula at Pioneer Theater Company – great brisk and atmospheric staging w/ solid performances. Needed more Kate Beckinsale.
Hereafter – what started as a somber and intriguing look into life and death and what happens next ended as a very slow moving love story.
Megamind – actively wanted to dislike it but couldn’t, fun and funny and actiony. Maybe a bit too complex storywise for little kids, though.
Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows – Steve Kloves should get some kind of award for his work on this series. Nude scene highly overrated.
Faster – a true heir to the Leone “Spaghetti Western”. Tight, intense and focused with a lot going on thematically under the surface.
Tangled – Above average Disney Animated Princess movie, lots of personality, fun songs, disturbing villain, multi-purpose hair
Jonah Hex – not quite a western, not quite horror, not quite good. Not much better than a SyFy original.
The Good The Bad The Weird – a bit of everything I love about Asian film; goofy, sentimental, melodramatic and crazy action/violence.
Warrior’s Way – Sans hyperbole, the greatest movie in the history of mankind. Ever.
Tron: Legacy – has massive issues (3d, story, structure, acting, awful de-aging FX, etc), but it is a Tron movie and that’s good enough.
Voyage of the Dawn Treader – a little more slapdash storywise than the other movies, but that is the fault of the book. A bit less dark too.
True Grit – ending was kinda downbeat, but the characters and language were wonderfully handled and performed, definitely worth seeing.
Yogi Bear – Best movie of the year, really captures the true essence of the characters, Anna Faris is transcendent as Rachel.
The Fighter – great performances (especially by Bale and Amy Adams), story felt more authentic than most Based on a True Story movies.
The Green Hornet – an absolute mess tonally and plotwise, but has a ton of goofy charm. Still not enough to save it. Jay Chou is dreamy.
The Black Swan – not a masterpiece, but masterfully executed, Portman has always been a stiff actress and that works here. Not for everyone.
Season of the Witch – uninspired… it felt like everyone approached their jobs on this as if they were working Customer Service at Walmart.
The Way Back – Wonderful cast with terrific performances and beautifully shot. Story is heartbreaking, exhausting and inspiring all at once.
Sorcerer’s Apprentice – workmanike, by the numbers, uninspired, huge wasted opportunity. Nic Cage was fun though.
The Mechanic – Starts by explaining assassination isn’t just about shooting people and then emphasizes the point with a bunch of shootouts.
Sanctum – Surprisingly very good, very intense, tho, could’ve done without the contrived additional selfish rich bad guy conflict.
Spam-a-lot – silly fun, new stuff written specifically for the play is best, also the stuff teasing big, Broadway Musical conventions.
Company Men – simple, somber, character driven, slice of life with solid performances and no easy contrived endings. Hits close to home.
Gnomeo & Juliet – uhhhh… yeah… I saw this, let’s just leave it all at that…
The Adjustment Bureau – “If I’m not supposed to be with her, why do I feel like this?” Goes well with Serendipity, schmaltzy in a way I dig.
Cedar Rapids – surprisingly heartfelt, wonderful and very funny, talented cast. A weird mix between 40 Year Old Virgin and Beautiful Girls.
Battle: Los Angeles – Michael Bay-Lite, solid actioner w/ Aliens, much better than it has any right to be. Aaron Eckhart makes it all work.
Paul – less character driven and more plot driven than I had hoped, the cast is super charming and fun, but much better than the material.
Sucker Punch – evidence that Brilliance and Idiocy can share the same space simultaneously.
Source Code – smart, but not mind-bendingly so, character piece with solid performances and the incredibly sexy Vera Farmiga.
Hanna – intense, sweet, sobering, actiony, not too over-thought, well balanced between plot and character, hard not to get dragged into it.
Your Highness – pretty disappointing and pedestrian, you can only mix & match genres with pot and sex jokes just so much before it gets old.
Arthur – much better than expected, actually think I liked it more than the Dudley Moore original, great and charming cast.
Godzilla and Mothra: the Battle for Earth – reminds me a bit of election season.
Thor – better than it should’ve been, not as good as it could’ve been. Pretty superbly cast, tho, and Natalie Portman was actually passable.
Fast Five – spectacularly perfect fun brainless action entertainment. The Rock is a freaking beast.
Troll Hunter – very naturalistic and authentic feeling given the premise, still suffers from the same things other “found footage” films do.
Hobo With A Shotgun – vile, violent and gory. More grindhouse than Grindhouse. Rutger Hauer is perfect. Offensive, brilliant filmmaking.
Priest (in 3D) – Really have no idea what it was about, I mean I understood what was going on, but no idea why. Close to incomprehensible.
Proof (by the Pinnacle Acting Co) – very intimate theater and staging that took advantage of it, great cast and a brilliant lead performance
Bridesmaids – seriously, I don’t think there will be a better comedy all year, plus it is a surprisingly solid movie, too.
POTC: On Stranger Tides – Not as good as the original, but more fun than the overwrought sequels. Hits its stride when the mermaids showup.
SUPER – Gunn finally delivers a well balanced mix of all the things he loves; gore, dark humor, violence, delusion, loss, heart break.
Hangover 2 – meh, more of the same, nothing really compelling about it that differentiates it any from the first one.
X-Men: First Class – really captures the spirit of the comic. Way better movie than the others, however ending is a jumble and feels rushed.
17 Miracles – Surprisingly accomplished for the budget, very good cast, but the story structure is pretty muddy. Very LDS film as well.
Godzilla: Final War – Fan-Freaking-Awe-Wonder-Tastic. But don’t ask me to explain, not quite sure I understood everything that was going on.
Super 8 – like a cross between Spielberg & Robert McCammon, really hit smack dab on my nostalgia soft spot, teen filmmaking in the late 70s.
Green Lantern – uneven mix of good and bad (Blake Lively seriously cannot act, she practically ruins the whole thing all by herself).
Tree of Life – beautiful, pensive, non-linear, the definition of film as art (including all of the baggage of “art”), deserves to be seen.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon – blech.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 – beautiful effective affective translation of the book to the big screen. Really loved it.
Captain America – loved it, but… could have used an extra 20 mins to flesh out relationship stuff (Steve/Peggy & Steve/Bucky).
The Trip – Lovely, made me nostalgic for friends and experiences I haven’t had. I wish I were a cross between Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon.
Cowboys & Aliens – a mediocre script lifted up by a great cast (not including Olivia Wilde who is the epitome of generic Hollywood starlet).
Rise of the Planet of the Apes – soooo good, most emotionally satisfying movie of the year. Brilliant really, want to see it again right now
Dylan Dog – a couple of game performances doesn’t make up for the poor pacing or poor direction or lackluster and tired scripting.
Another Earth – the worst kind of smug self-important HS creative writing class filmmaking. Not a single honest moment in the whole thing.
Fright Night – not as bad as I expected, Colin Farrell really sold it, but that is probably because that is what he is like in real life.
Burke and Hare – surprisingly listless for a John Landis comedy, nice to see Andy Serkis not doing a mo-cap performance for once though.
Tucker and Dale Vs Evil – I had high expectations and even though it may not have lived completely up to them it was still a ton of fun.
Attack the Block – A fun cross between A Clockwork Orange and Critters, falls right in the middle quality wise, too, which isn’t a negative.
The Devil’s Double – doesn’t quite rise to its potential, but still pretty good. Dominic Cooper delivers a brilliant double performance.
Contagion – very antiseptic feeling for a movie about a massive viral outbreak. Somber and restrained, contained even. my kinda film, tho.
Bandslam – A movie about teens and music that actually loves music (and features teens that are 50% less annoying than normal).
Ides of March – probably didn’t work for me as well as it should have because I am much more politically cynical than it was.
Real Steel – holy cow, super cheese-y, but that cheese is chock full of charm, energy, fun and heart. I actually teared up at the end.
The Thing – if it was an original it would have been a passably decent horror flick, but since it isn’t it suffers greatly in comparison.
Melancholia – difficult to sum up easily, but the bottom line is it is brilliant and sad and beautiful and quiet and loud all at once.
Big Year – decent and sweet, maybe wait for video, chock-full of wonderful comic actors in small roles throughout, though, which was cool.
Immortals – over the top of over the top, seriously awesomely insane, I really liked it, everything that Clash of the Titans should’ve been.
Space Battleship Yamato (2010) – beautifully executed SciFi melodrama w/ lots of affection and faithfulness to the original source material.
Harold and Kumar 3 – I suspect that drug comedies in general go over my head, still this stayed pretty effortlessly true to its formula.
Jack and Jill – …I really, really liked it. Honest. Noone does absurdist mainstream family friendly comic entertainment like Sandler.
Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec – all about adventure and not concerned by the expectations of others, just like Adele herself.
Bellflower – visually very interesting, and some pretty decent performances (considering the budget), but story just doesn’t work.
The Muppets – bottom line is that its heart is in the right place and it fills an emptiness in our own hearts.
Trans-Siberian Orchestra – it was like the real world version of Spinal Tap performing Stonehenge without any mix-ups. It was awesome.
The Living Legends Formula for Success – an abundance of visual markers, a passable vocal impersonation and a very talented band. #Vegas
The Blue Man Group – the Three Stooges as Performance Art, battering at PVC pipe instead of each other. I want to produce shows like that.
Haywire – Gina Carano is the real thing: a believable female action star that kicks all kinds of ass, and can almost act.
Act of Valor – The heart & sentiment of the soldiers way outshines the bad acting and stiff character work. Plus the action was great.
The Lorax – a Dr Seuss movie made by people that hate Dr Seuss. Joyless, souless, heartless, and painful. Stop the cycle of Seuss abuse now.
John Carter – It was good. Really, really good. And faithful. The changes deepened the characters and story. Deja Thoris was hot, too.
Casa De Mi Padre – wonderful, the pure joy in the execution of a goofy concept is evident. But you won’t like it, so why am I telling you.
The Expendables – yes, yes they were. All of them. Except Jet Li. He is a god.
Hunger Games – It was okay I guess, but it really dragged in the parts it should have been most exciting. A solid 3.2778 out of 5 stars.
Mirror, Mirror – no way that Twilight Snow White will be 1/10th as adorable as this one. Plus, finally we get to see the real Julia Roberts.
Cabin In The Woods – way charming, excellent gore, solid laughs, real scares, homerun third act and ending. Must see again.