57 Twitter Size Film Reviews (6-14-14 to 1-26-15)

This is my fifth set of twitter movie reviews. Over the holiday break I got into a serious loop of watching barely remembered movies from the ’70s, so there are a bunch of those in this batch. These 57 reviews span the period from June 13 2014 to January 26 2015, and are listed in chronological order (the order in which they were originally posted).

I have been tweeting these sort of short 140 character Movie Reviews since I first joined Twitter. I have alternated between taking great pride in boiling down a complex opinion about something to a short, but thoughtful tweet and feeling lamely self-important about it.

Anyway, may I present to you… 57 Twitter Size Movie Reviews:


#BadWords – so flipping good. Actually, it has more of an indie film vibe than the current Apatow overindulgent joke-fests that are common.

#TheyCameTogether – If we did a Royal Rumble-type match to pick the Filmmaker with the clearest comedic vision, David Wain would rule.

#JerseyBoys – really uneven and a bit clunky, but I still kinda loved it all.

#Snowpiercer – it was good. I mean really good. Really, really good. Really, really, really good. It was good.

#HowToTrainYourDragon2 – more like How I Met Your Dragon, amIrite? Your many, many, many dragons.

#DawnOfThePlanetOfTheApes – more like DAWN of the Planet of the Apes, amirite? Seriously, though, not sure how it could’ve been much better.

#Lucy – only Luc Besson can make art out of deeply dumb philosophical tropes and pop action beats.

#GuardiansOfTheGalaxy – really wish it was less part of the Marvel Universe and more like Rocket Raccoon: Ain’t no thing like it, ‘cept it.

#Boyhood – yes…

#Hercules – much better than I expected, but I don’t think it quite lives up to its own high ambitions.

#SuperInteresting – the lead singer of the Eels is the son of the originator of the many-worlds interpretation of quantum physics theory.

#Expendables3 – still filled with lameness, except for Banderas and Snipe who are both awesome and should get their own film.

#Blended – Shut up! You don’t know me! You don’t know anything about me. My reasons for liking it are my own, and completely valid. Shut up.

#Diggers – a very still and quiet film that just kinda unfolds gently. Wish I would’ve seen back in ’06 when it was first released.

#TheMazeRunner – I really thought it was pretty good, but I don’t think I understood it at all.

#TheMazeRunner has the best #ResidentEvil ending since Resident Evil 5.

#SpaceStation76 – basically Ice Storm in Outer Space. Not laugh out loud funny, but it really kinda sticks with you after.

#DriveHard – feels like it was directed by someone that has never driven above the speed limit, but Cusack and Jane are a lot of fun.

#TheBoxTrolls – the delicateness of it all (story, character, animation) is amazing, Laika is so far ahead of the pack on so many levels.

#GoneGirl – so very very gone. (No idea what that means.) Probably best and funniest third act in the last decade though. Seriously perfect.

#JohnWick – I really dislike brutal, cynical, conscienceless revenge fantasies, but the filmakers made this one feel upbeat and fun somehow.

#TheBookOfLife – really wanted to like it more than I did. It owes more aesthetically to Dreamworks than Pixar. Super full of heart though.

#Autómata – Holy cow, so good. Real and smart scifi is so hard to find, and this is the real thing. It is everything I, Robot wishes it was.

#TheEqualizer – all the artsiest shots and awesome action scenes can never totally make up for an incoherent story. Denzel rules though.

#Frankenstein #NationalTheaterLive – Brilliant, beautiful, sad, art. I wish I had the kind of people who make things like this in my life.

During #IntoTheStorm did anyone else hope to see Pa and Clark Kent in the background arguing over saving the dog? In every scene?

#Nightcrawler – sooo good, but no teleportation at all. No idea where it was going, but when it got there it was the only place it could go.

#DraculaUntold – not bad, but far from good. One part vampire-y, 5 parts melodrama, and 3 parts tough guy revenge flick with swords.

#Interstellar – big, ambitious, smart science fiction with some warmth in the center. Finally.

#BigHero6 – pretty good, but once the plot kicks in there is an inevitability to everything that undermines the heart and emotion.

#HungerGamesMockingjay – the first was meh to good, the second was good to surprisingly good, this one was surprisingly good to really good.

#SuperTeamUp – Jean Valjean & Sweeney Todd fight Judge Turpin & Javert who are crusading to clean the streets of Oliver and his orphan gang.

#StVincent – exactly the kinda movie I would normally hate – cliched, manipulative, predictable – but Bill Murray makes it all fine.

#IntoTheWoods – a movie adaptation of a musical that actually loves the music and services it with real talent.

#TheInterview – Movie was meh to heh. James Franco is still the best thing about Seth Rogen. Also, Randall Park was great as Kim Jong-Un.

#ThreeDaysOfTheCondor – it is easy to forget how every post 70’s Paranoid Spy Thriller was influenced by this film.

#SPYS – Donald Sutherland and Elliot Gould are gold together. They need to get back together in a film one last time before it is too late.

#AndyWarholsFrankenstein – kinda brilliant, kinda idiotic, kinda beautiful, kinda repellent.

#BunnyLakeIsMissing – a psychological drama that you don’t realize is actually a thriller until the third act. Otto Preminger was a master.

#SuperMensch – smart directorial debut choice by Mike Myers, fun look at Shep Gordon, would’ve liked more depth, but still interesting.

#FromRussiaWithLove – it is interesting to look at how much the franchise has really changed over the years, while still feeling the same.

#WestWorld – makes me kinda interested in seeing what HBO does with it in series. There’s a ton of interesting opportunity there, storywise.

#NightAtTheMuseumSecretOfTheTomb – the little kids in the theater laughed throughout the movie. I think they have their demographic nailed.

#DayOfTheDophin – found it brilliant as a kid, thought it’d be hokey as an adult, but actually found it smart & moving (and a little hokey).

#AlteredStates – as a kid the insanity was about finding truth, as an adult it’s about learning it. I think it works better now than then.

#SpyKids – not many filmmakers can get across the actual joy they take in their films like Robert Rodriguez can. Plus it has Carla Gugino.

#DumbAndDumberTo – God help me, I laughed. More than it is probably good to admit publicly.

#CapricornOne – it holds up pretty well and is chock full of great character actors. In the 70s Elliot Gould was kind of an action star.

#1776 – thought I had seen it before, but have no memory of any of it. John Adams was a rock star.

#Predestination – yeah, that’s the Heinlein I remember, twisted and straight-up all at once. Very faithful adaptation, total mind trip.

#TheGuest – an awesome, twisted mashup of Shane, First Blood and Halloween. I mean awesome, seriously awesome. And twisted, really twisted.

#SecondHandLions – every child should grow up with a loving super eccentric crazy old person in their life as a constant.

#Taken3 – more of the same, but also less. We all deserve better in this post-John Wick world.

#RoyalSpaceForce #TheWingsOfHonneamise – brilliant, moving, aspirational science fiction and animation.

#Danger5 is my happy place.

#AmericanSniper – don’t listen to the criticism, the movie is not political or preachy at all. It is also just really, really good.

#HobbitBattleOfFiveArmies – it is like that one fight scene in #TheyLive that seems to last for hours, except it really does last for hours.

One thought on “57 Twitter Size Film Reviews (6-14-14 to 1-26-15)

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