My Top 5 Random Selection of Things That I have Tweeted in the Last Six Months or So (in no particular order)

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– Since I have started watching my friends’ dog when they are traveling, I have come to appreciate #JohnWick on a whole different level.

– I wanna hire a Call Center to handle all the spam calls I get from Call Centers, thus creating an infinite loop of Call Center Calls.

– As a kid I guess I just assumed the world was filled with a lot more giant underground caverns with undiscovered treasures and weirdness. 

– He’s the kinda guy that manually types out “Please consider the environment before printing this email” at the end of every email.

– Story Idea – The Midnight Spokecards: a possessed purple 1971 Huffy Laredo Banana Seat bike is picking off the neighbor kids one by one.

– No one will ever have the same level of ire on everything that you do – just be happy to find someone that hates one thing the same as you.

– Nostalgia is fake news, it is never the way we remember it.

– I wish I was offered avocado with everything I ordered. “How about avocado with that Samsung Edge S8.” “Thought you would never ask.”

– When I was much younger I really dug hot older women, but as I have gotten older myself I find I prefer, instead, hot age appropriate women.

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